Mrs Mustache

I know that I shouldn’t be putting this out there for you to judge because the internet is full of angry alpacas who are all like WHY CAN’T WE OPEN JARS!?! but I need you to settle a bet/ fulfill my need for validation.

I am not a crazy cat lady.

That’s not to say I don’t own a cat or anything. I have a cat. OK, there are two cats, but that’s ALL THE CATS. I just think cats are fucking great. It’s not even a thing. But I have my mom’s voice from lunch ringing in my ears while she chants “CAT LADY! CAT LADY!” while pointing at me. God.

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This morning I’m standing in the kitchen in my pyjamas cutting up lemons and daydreaming out the window when I see a cat running up the road. Then a couple seconds later I see the mean cat of the neighborhood  run past, and is actually chasing the first cat.

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So I think “Aw, HELL no!” and I go running down the street after these two cats.

By this point they’ve gotten a block up the street and the mean cat has cornered the first cat under a car. I come puffing up and start shooing the mean cat back down the steet (picture crouching and shooing hands) when I look down and realize…

I’ve just gone sprinting down the street, leaving my door *wide* open…

I’m shooing a *strange* cat home…

While wearing my pyjamas…

Carrying a lemon in each hand

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Actually, you know what? Maybe you should agree with my Mom. What the hell, me?

Tags: don't tell anyone, i am not a crazy person, nobody should talk to me